New Year, New Me?

I truly hope so.

Have you made any resolutions for 2017?

Maybe you are going to join a gym, eat healthy, quit smoking, drink less, drink more who knows. Me? I’m going to try harder than ever to get well. Both mentally and physically.

So far this year, all two days of it, I’ve been couch bound with vertigo and a migraine. 😥 Of course you all know what that means, right? The power couple, Mr. Anxiety and Ms. Depression, have taken this opportunity to send my mind to the darkest depths of hell. 

HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR!! 

My therapist is the only one who truly knows what this resolution actually means. It means learning to be my own advocate. YIKES! It means undergoing whatever medical tests the doctor orders. GASP!! It means being poked, prodded, and stuck with needles. FAINT!!! And all with the very real possibility of getting zero answers again. CRY. 

AGONY. 

It also means delving into this black hole of my mind and trying to figure out who I am. I’m not the same person I was several years ago and I have to stop comparing myself to her. But I dont much know or like this person I am now. I need to figure out who I am again and try to put the dark demons of the past to rest. 


PURE AGONY!! 

Will I succeed? Who knows. 

I will work my ass off though. I want to be well. I want to be a better mother, partner, friend, person. I want to be healthy and happy. 

I will try!

Stay Sane(ish), my friends. 

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