Glitter glitter everywhere

So …..I’m working like a dog on some homemade ornaments for close family and friends.  

I’m getting all crafty and shit with some mod podge and glitter.

GLITTER! EVERYWHERE!! 

But I have to say, after spending $13 very precious dollars on having pictures printed only to have to resort to printing black and white copies on my crappy printer because the actual picture paper won’t adhere with the mod podge,  I’m pretty happy with the results so far.  

Seriously though you should see the actual glitter mess.  The floor is covered in it.  I’m covered in it.  The dogs are covered in it.  It’s kinda fucking ridiculous.  But I’m being all festive and shit and watching Christmas movies.  

Thankfully the vertigo flare didn’t last past this morning.  I got my prednisone script and took one as directed.  Oops…speaking of which I was supposed to take dose two a half hour ago.  

Any who,  my back,  hips,  and legs are killing me now.  I’ve basically been sitting on the edge of the couch hunched over the coffee table for the past 9 or so hours.  I’ve taken breaks but they were short and few between.  I’ve gotten a lot done though and will now have plenty of time to finish and package them all.  

First day of Holiday break for us tomorrow.  I think sugar cookie making will have to happen at some point.  Maybe if I stay on track I can finish everything tomorrow and we can spend all day Christmas Eve baking.  We’ll see how the day goes.  

Well folks it’s about that time.  My doggies are all snuggled in with me and happily snoring away so I guess I’ve gotta give sleep a shot.  *fingers crossed* At least we don’t have to get up at the ass crack of the sun tomorrow.  Oh wait my kids are completely fucked up and like to sleep late on school days and rise early on weekends.  So yea we’ll still be up involuntarily.  

In other news 2 more days til Christmas folks.  Are you all ready?  

Yea me neither.  :/ Maybe next year hahahaha 

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New Year, New Me?

I truly hope so.

Have you made any resolutions for 2017?

Maybe you are going to join a gym, eat healthy, quit smoking, drink less, drink more who knows. Me? I’m going to try harder than ever to get well. Both mentally and physically.

So far this year, all two days of it, I’ve been couch bound with vertigo and a migraine. 😥 Of course you all know what that means, right? The power couple, Mr. Anxiety and Ms. Depression, have taken this opportunity to send my mind to the darkest depths of hell. 

HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR!! 

My therapist is the only one who truly knows what this resolution actually means. It means learning to be my own advocate. YIKES! It means undergoing whatever medical tests the doctor orders. GASP!! It means being poked, prodded, and stuck with needles. FAINT!!! And all with the very real possibility of getting zero answers again. CRY. 

AGONY. 

It also means delving into this black hole of my mind and trying to figure out who I am. I’m not the same person I was several years ago and I have to stop comparing myself to her. But I dont much know or like this person I am now. I need to figure out who I am again and try to put the dark demons of the past to rest. 


PURE AGONY!! 

Will I succeed? Who knows. 

I will work my ass off though. I want to be well. I want to be a better mother, partner, friend, person. I want to be healthy and happy. 

I will try!

Stay Sane(ish), my friends.