My brain may just explode yet

I’m so stressed.
About everything.
About the house situation.
About my relationship.
About school starting next week.
About my kids, my mom, my sister et all.
About the job.

Everything feels so out of control.

This house. What the fuck are we gonna do? I pray to the universe we are able to purchase it and not get totally raped in the process.

My relationship. I just want him to acknowledge my existence in more than a few uttered syllables a day. My therapist says I should write to him. Basically small notes explaining one thing at a time that I want him to understand/know about me. It makes sense.

The kids. Everywhere on this one. Their behavior. Their attitudes. Everything.

School. I haven’t done a damn bit of planning so far. And I haven’t gotten Abby prepared in anyway. She’s gotten new sneakers that’s it. 😦 Finally starting to get the fucking lice under control.

My mom. Ugh 😥 I just can’t deal with it right now. I’m so ashamed and disgusted with myself but I just can’t visit her right now. I again pray to the universe to let me get through this and right my wrong before its too late.

My sister. Lost her husband almost a year ago. Very bad. Her grandson (4 yrs old) was moved across the country by his mother in March and is currently here for his two week visit. He leaves Sunday. 😦 its just so much sadness. 😥

The job. I actually do love it mostly. But in reality it is just another stressor. I think the pros are defiantly outweighing the cons overall but its still a stressor.

I feel so damned hopeless.
So ….. Broken.

Something I’ve learned today ‘having to ask for what you need doesn’t make it any less gratifying’.
I’ll try and keep that in mind. :/

Stay Sane 😛

2 thoughts on “My brain may just explode yet

  1. it’s hard to make changes, get better, hope for things that are out of your control. Just try to do your best at being you. If there are things you want to do, things you want to say, things you want to change. Try focusing on just one thing at a time that is in your control and stop focusing on the things that are out of your control. It can be really overwhelming to take on so much when there is nothing you can do about half of it. When I feel so stressed out I want to burst, I usually take a break from thinking for a while (go for a long walk in nature.. etc) and then come back and make a list of priorities. What’s number one for you? Try only focusing on that for a week or a few days. When I put all my focus on one thing, I tend to forget the other things until I’ve got a handle on the one top priority. Then, I go back to my list and focus on the next priority.. then repeat. 🙂


    • Thank you. I’m just now starting to do some yoga. Mostly the breathing and music stuff first. I like the idea of focusing on the most important thing rather than so many of the smaller things at the same time. I know in order for me to help my family get to a better place I need to start from within. I’ll get there. We’ll get there. Thank you for your support. Be well.

      Liked by 1 person

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