My brain may just explode yet

I’m so stressed.
About everything.
About the house situation.
About my relationship.
About school starting next week.
About my kids, my mom, my sister et all.
About the job.

Everything feels so out of control.

This house. What the fuck are we gonna do? I pray to the universe we are able to purchase it and not get totally raped in the process.

My relationship. I just want him to acknowledge my existence in more than a few uttered syllables a day. My therapist says I should write to him. Basically small notes explaining one thing at a time that I want him to understand/know about me. It makes sense.

The kids. Everywhere on this one. Their behavior. Their attitudes. Everything.

School. I haven’t done a damn bit of planning so far. And I haven’t gotten Abby prepared in anyway. She’s gotten new sneakers that’s it. 😦 Finally starting to get the fucking lice under control.

My mom. Ugh 😥 I just can’t deal with it right now. I’m so ashamed and disgusted with myself but I just can’t visit her right now. I again pray to the universe to let me get through this and right my wrong before its too late.

My sister. Lost her husband almost a year ago. Very bad. Her grandson (4 yrs old) was moved across the country by his mother in March and is currently here for his two week visit. He leaves Sunday. 😦 its just so much sadness. 😥

The job. I actually do love it mostly. But in reality it is just another stressor. I think the pros are defiantly outweighing the cons overall but its still a stressor.

I feel so damned hopeless.
So ….. Broken.

Something I’ve learned today ‘having to ask for what you need doesn’t make it any less gratifying’.
I’ll try and keep that in mind. :/

Stay Sane 😛


Why do I argue with these small humans

Day 5 of electronic restriction for the littles. For all the whining and complaining and asking for kindles you’d think they actually have a leg to stand on. Which they don’t. Clean your rooms or get no kindles. Pretty easy and straight forward right? Naw! To them it means ‘sit around on our asses and whine and cry and complain.’

I’m not even exaggerating when I say that the female versions of my littles went up to “clean” their room today and spent exactly 3/4 of that time changing their outfits and doing hair and make up.

Meanwhile the male version actually cleaned his closet and some of his floor. Still has quite a bit to do but he made some progress.

Stay Sane 😛